So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My vagina is officially offended.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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