Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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