I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
