What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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