drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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