mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
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PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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