I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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