Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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