In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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