"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
