Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
