your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
