Do you still have your period?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
