Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
