Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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