Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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