Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
