I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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