im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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