I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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