I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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