Your mouth is God's brothel.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
