My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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