I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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