no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
