And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
