your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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