Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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