i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize