So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
