I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have fence marks all over my body
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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