its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
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