Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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