love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
