how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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