So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
