You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
