Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
