I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize