I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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