I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Two words: nipple clamps
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