So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
