Sponge bath it is.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
