so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
