Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
