we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
