you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
