yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
