If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
