Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
