So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
