i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
