she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
