sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
