You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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