you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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