Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
