Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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