so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
