I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she peed on how many people?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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