four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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