I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
