ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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