Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
